Mar 262012
 

That’s the “Ferrari” of electric bike maker EH Line’s current lineup, the unimaginatively named “Street Racer.” According to Gizmag, it weighs about 35-pounds, has a top speed of 28mph under its own power, and costs just under $10,000. I mention it here only because some of you heavy embrocators out there may one day find a new High Tech Fred bridging up to you aboard one of these, and I’m sure he’ll want to talk. Sure as robots taking over the world and yearly Spiderman movies, the clash between whatever it is we consider “cycling culture” and motorized bicycles is coming, so you might want to start sorting out your opinions.

Speaking of hot new commuting rides and robots taking over the world, I’m pretty sure that if I ever caved to the joys of electric assist, I’d go all in.

As Seen on TV

Anything good enough for Carrie Brownstein is good enough for me. As marketing goes, the best thing about Portlandia product placements is that the show itself goes out and looks for weird Portland-made stuff–though it still pales in comparison to the best product placement ever seen in a TV show.

But the latest trend in marketing has yet to show up in the bike industry. Mostly, it’s still in beta testing by companies like Belvedere Vodka, that recently posted the image of a smiling man grabbing a panicked woman from behind with the title, “Unlike some people, Belvedere always goes down smoothly,” on the company’s Facebook page.

Yes, that really happened, and–as is the way with this hot new guerrilla marketing technique–Belvedere then issued an immediate apology, donated some money to a related charity, and sent out the obligatory bullshit “well, I never” letter from President Charles Gibb, which went like this:

It should never have happened. I am currently investigating the matter to determine how this happened and to be sure it never does so again. The content is contrary to our values and we deeply regret this lapse.”

While Mr. Gibb investigates–a process he certainly makes sound more laborious than the President of the company picking up a phone and saying, “I want the fucking idiot who posted a rape scene on our Facebook page in my office by this time tomorrow holding a box of all the shit in his cubicle”–the public apology has certainly made the rounds.

At least in the new viral marketing landscape, charities stand to do pretty well, positioned as they happen to be to receive considerable mea culpa money. As the saying goes, better to ask forgiveness than permission–especially when it comes to brand exposure. Once the next marketing hotness goes mainstream, I suspect we’ll see all sorts of crimevertisement hybrids, from date rape video product feature condemnations from Budweiser and Abercrombie and Fitch, to McDonald’s wild viral success, “World Vomit Day!” and the record-setting “Cannibalism Apology” following a new Pizza Hut topping rollout.

It’s going to be an exciting time to be a consumer.

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