Oct 302011
 
Depressing as it was to wake up Saturday morning and find my driveway under five inches of snow. I was heartened to hear that Luxury is alive and well in the world of cycling.
Just the previous night, I’d had a horrible nightmare in which Rapha was forced to manufacture a product that wasn’t :
//www.rapha.cc/rapha-jeans?locale=US" target="blank">utterly ridiculous, but as my live-in barista commenced the “design” phase of my morning caffĂ© and I settled in to review the day’s events on my iPad all my cares soon faded away.
For one thing, :
//www.bikerumor.com/2011/10/29/2012-rock-racing-road-bikes-made-in-italy-aircraft-inspired-honeycomb-frames/" target="blank">Rock Racing is making bicycles. While not necessarily bred with the same passion that fueled Mr. Ball’s entrance into the wheelset manufacturing market, these frames do offer a Ball trademark feature: Wildly Vague Assertions:
:
//www.rockracing.it/en/bike-rock-racing-RX5.html" target="blank">“Honeycomb technology reduces to zero even the slightest energy dispersion exerted on the pedals, a phenomenon typically found in many of the frames on the market today.”
Maybe this translates poorly from the Italian, but these words strongly imply that the bike can not be pedaled under any circumstances, which is certainly a bold statement of rebellion, at least from an engineering standpoint. Either way, it’s indecipherable, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how one sells dubious quality bicycle frames, or way overpriced pants. Still more heartening is the announcement of “Zegho” eyewear from Assos, purveyors of Swiss cycling fashion. The Assos home page is currently featuring a countdown clock, because this is Really Big.
:
//www.assos.com/" target="blank">
And by “Really Big,” I mean enormous. The shades are freakishly large, sort of like something :
//www.canootervalve.com/archives/692">Kanye West would wear while heavily embrocated and cruising his fixie through Occupy Wall Street. Always the intrepid faux-journalist and a genuine fan of many Swiss things, I was anxious to test these new glasses myself. Sadly, my doctor strictly forbid me to wear the glasses after determining they would impair my ability to breathe by cutting off all airflow to my head. Though I was unable to wear the glasses and test their innovative “Tunnel Vision” tinting–a technology so rare that gas stations usually offer only one similar model per display rack–I was able to enlist help in testing the fit of the glasses.
:
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“Peanut,” who has very sensitive eyes, reported that foraging for food on the ground was in no way impaired, but that glare was significantly reduced, giving the Zegho her highest rating–a serious statement, considering she’s previously eaten a $60 Rapha knitted hat.

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