Solid gift ideas for the holidays.
I hate marketing.
Don’t get me wrong. I can sell me some shit, and like Liam Neeson, I’ve acquired a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career.” But I’m pretty sure I lack a certain marketing something, that higher level of disdain for my fellow man that’s present in marketing lifers. I like customers. I believe in certain products. That kind of shit gets in the way of marketing.
Maybe it’s just the time of the year. Between the endless ad spot pushes from every Herb Tarlek of local radio station/newspaper/nano-zine/photocopied-flyer-on-telephone-pole fame trying to sell me space, to the sheer mayhem of holiday promotions, I’m looking forward to mid February.
So I’m starting my list of holiday gifts so fucking cool that they need no marketing whatsoever. Conveniently, this also doubles as my holiday wish list.
Yes, that’s a Slayer Holiday Sweater. The nice thing about these items is that they require no explanation.
It’s a ’75 Volvo C-303. Think your new Volvo family wagon is safe? Good luck surviving a zombie apocalypse in that shit. You can’t even fjord water, let alone have the approach angle to scale the really steep stuff. Might as well just give up.
Palm-based flamethrowers really require zero marketing. I wouldn’t recommend this for kids under, like, six. Or anyone over six, either, but you have to admit it doesn’t need a fancy package or celebrity spokesman. It lets you shoot flames. From your hand. Solid.
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