All Ears

 Bikes, Gadgets, Swine  Comments Off on All Ears
Jun 252012
 

There’s a great article over at Fast Company describing the new “social media command centers” some companies are using to “capture, monitor, and utilize social media conversations.” Certainly sounds cool, but I can’t help but think all this talk of “response strategies,” “feedback internalization,” and “two-way conversations” is just the latest version of “this call may be monitored for training purposes”?

Dell, for instance, is cited as a specific example in the article:

Dell’s ground control center tracks around 22,000 daily posts about the company across a wide range of social media, and enables Dell to participate in online dialogue about their brand and use social media insights to improve their products and marketing.”

But everyone knows what sucks so bad about Dell. They subsidize the cost of everything by filling your computer with bloatware programs that make it run like ass. They also skin their vendors alive on pricing until the hardware in your PC makes the back aisles at RadioShack look pretty advanced. Will hearing that change their business model? Of course not.

Oddly, it seems like a lot of the companies investing so heavily in monitoring social media would be much better to allocate funds toward simply not being dicks. According to Manish Mehta, Dell’s VP of social media and community,”Ground Control is about tracking the largest number of possible conversations across the web and making sure we ‘internalize’ that feedback, good or bad . . . . It’s also about tracking what you might call the ‘long tail’–those smaller matters that might not bubble to the surface today, but are out there, and deserve to be heard.”

Right.

When it comes to large corporations, social media is all about pretending to give a shit, but the upside is that it requires actual human beings not just to give that shit, but even to pretend to give it. That’s the social media trap many companies are finding themselves in these days: they thought they could bullshit their way through it like they have so many other things involving customers, but the whole idea that social media is a two-way conversation ruins the whole automated bone-tossing bit. You have to engage with people.

The monstrous industry that’s evolved to support circumventing direct communication with people is certainly impressive. Effective, though? Difficult to say. Other than some game theory time-wasting, it’s tough to say what consumers actually get out of the new communication channels, clogged as they are with “command center” specialists listening and reacting, while still insulating the actual corporate decision-makers. Dell, I’m afraid to reveal, does not actually love you and want to have coffee with you. Even Apple thinks you’re kind of a pain in the ass, frankly.

A few bicycle frame manufacturers, in contrast are in touch with their consumers. Why, because they engage in the same activity as the consumers. That’s why the sight of something like this Kirklee Bikerumor posted recently makes many people who ride bicycles happy.

If you ride a bike, you stand a better chance of understanding what people who ride bikes want. That way, you don’t even have “like” them in order to make the products they want.

Big Dogs, Little Dogs and Long Tails

 Bikes, E-commerce  2 Responses »
Jun 222012
 

Rick Vosper has published a really interesting post over at BicycleRetailer.com. Based on fresh data from the Gluskin-Townley group’s National Bicycle Dealer Association (NBDA) report, Vosper seems to pretty effectively dispel the myth of a “Big Three” stranglehold on independent bike dealers.

Except that maybe he doesn’t. As Vosper puts it:

Turns out there’s a total of 143 bike brands active in the US market (down from 150 last year). Moreover, in terms of which brands are tops in which shops and/or markets, it’s not Trek, Giant, or Specialized that leads the pack. Not Raleigh or Cannondale or Haro or Diamondback or Schwinn, or any of the top brands we’d all expect.

On a purely representative basis, the leading brand in the country is . . . ‘Other.’ And it has been for years.”

The suggestion is that smaller companies are, in aggregate, a serious force in the U.S. bicycle industry.

As much as I’d like to believe that, I just can’t. In the past, I did quite well with niche brands, and I wish others could too, but empirical data derived from something I call “walking into any bike shop in the U.S.” suggests neither Specialized nor Trek need fear any smaller companies.

A part of the disconnect might be the method used for gathering the data. According to Jay Townley, whose group conducted the research, the data was gathered “based on a survey of more than 300 independent bike shops,” where “the basic question” . . . “was to write in their bestselling bicycle brands, not numbers, but bestselling brands based on unit volume.”

Um, OK.

So the questioning was maybe a little subjective. Could that affect things? Poor Trek and Specialized tend to suffer from what I like to call the “Nickleback Syndrome”: they make shit-tons of money even while shop rats sometimes think it’s not cool to be a “Trek shop” or “Specialized shop.” That’s just the “freedom” twitch, wherein a dealer or shop rat doesn’t want to believe he’s bought and sold based on the whims of his vendor. No one admits to liking Nickleback. Yet they still come to your city and get suck all over it. Go figure.

But how accurate was the data? That’s the question. It’s possible the official Gluskin-Townley report describes how rigorously the data was checked against inventory management systems, etc. but, given my experience in bicycle retail, “rigorous” just isn’t a term that comes up all that often (come to think of it, “inventory management” doesn’t even come up very often).

I’m also not entirely clear how to square the notion that Specialized, Trek and Giant still likely dominate “in terms of total unit sales,” without being a “bestselling” brand. To me, then, this report raises more questions than it answers. Sure, we have Redline, Fuji and the QBP brands chipping away at market share, but if they’re effectively doing that, then how could it not be reflected in sales? As much as I want to believe in this report, taken at face value, it seems to suggest dealers are primarily flooring bike brands that don’t make them money.

What’s more, they’re flooring bikes that don’t make them money despite the pressures from their Big Three overlords to knock that shit off.

Seems wrong.

It’s possible the data is just skewed. We know “more than 300 independent bike shops” were used for this analysis. In the absence of hard data, we have to assume “more than 300” effectively means like “302.” If there are roughly 5000 IBDs in the U.S. that’d be about 6% of them that were polled. If we figure we’re down to 4500 IBDs and sort of put a thumb on the good news scale here, probably the most we can get is about 7-7.5% of dealers surveyed in this sample. Statistically, this should still be enough to give us a pretty accurate reading (low margin of error), but there tends to be wide variance between IDBs, meaning I could find 300 shops in the U.S. that don’t carry Trek or Specialized. Usually every larger town has one of those “also ran” shops that can’t get one of the Big Three (and may well be a better shop than those that can). This matters.

So I’m questioning how reliable this data can be–or even if it has any intrinsic value whatsoever. If you don’t sell Trek, you don’t represent them on your floor. If you polled 7% of the shops in the U.S., how many of those shops were selling Trek or Specialized? Wouldn’t that affect the results? When you can’t get the big brands, you represent the smaller brands. Call 300 shops that don’t sell Trek or Specialized, and you get a snap shot of what life is like at the bottom of the retail food chain, not how healthy the Big Three’s grip is around the neck of the U.S. bike dealer.

In other words, “representation” is a bullshit made-up term. More usable data would seem to be what revenue each brand is generating for that representative sample of retailers across the country. Ask each shop: what are your top ten bike lines, in terms of revenue? If your shop is filled with Raleighs because you can’t get Trek or Specialized, then way to go for you and Raleigh, but good luck breaking the $1.5M sales mark. What really matters is this: are you able to compete with the shop that has Trek or Specialized? That’s the real question. The report suggests an interesting variation based on total sales revenue: “At $300,000 or less, Trek is #7; Redline is #1. At $3000-5000, Trek is #2,Raleighis [sic] #1. Where Trek has its hold is in the million-plus-dollar retailers. Trek is not #1 in all regions of the country, nor are they #1 in all size stores. It varies.”

Well, yeah. Your store’s revenue varies based on whether or not you sell Specialized, Trek or Giant. If you can’t get those lines, good fucking luck making more than $300k a year. Wouldn’t that seem to be the opposite of Vosper’s point? To suggest this is evidence of some kind of “representational” pattern, I submit to you, is the worst kind of tail wagging dog argument. “Where Trek has its hold is in the million-plus-dollar retailers.” Yes, the ones making money.

Don’t get me wrong. I think Vosper has written a fascinating article, I love what he’s clearly wishing and hoping for here (even if I can’t believe in it), and I have a great deal of respect for what the Gluskin-Townley group tries to do (gathering data in this industry is like bailing out a leaking canoe with a spork), but don’t let’s get to dreaming up scenarios where the little guys can compete based on some mystical “representation” number. Vosper’s evocation of the Long-tail theory is apt here, but maybe not for the reasons he suggests. The vast majority of small shops cater to a smaller and more eclectic segment of the industry because that’s the only brand real estate left to them. Those smaller shops aren’t successful because they don’t have any of the Big Three brands–they’re successful despite not having them. It’s a testament to how hard most of those shops work to take care of customers.

Dopey

 Bikes  Comments Off on Dopey
Jun 212012
 

Over the past year, I’ve dealt with some life-alteringly bad bullshit, but the view from my new back porch does a lot to make up for it.

Now I just need to some time on a bike. Between living in hotels and eating garbage for months now, my normal “awful” fitness level has deteriorated into “super awful” range. Having just unpacked my moving truck to find the moving crew we’re hired to help hadn’t put so much as a napkin between my daughter’s Santa Cruz Juliana and my Co-Motion was just that extra little kick in the nards I absolutely did not need today.

Unable to ride bikes right now, I find myself thinking about them a lot, and it’s impossible to miss the current Lance Armstrong saga. Because I still have a lot of boxes to unpack and need to sketch a brief bike company business plan (it’s a long story), I’ll keep this short: something like six years ago my friend, Jeremy, made an interesting point when it comes to Armstrong and doping allegations. “Why are all these ex-U.S.Postal guys getting nabbed for doping only after they leave Armstrong’s former team?”

Think about it. I wouldn’t trust Floyd Landis as far as Barry Bonds could throw him, but are we really supposed to believe all of these ex-Postal riders started doping only after leaving the team? While I tend to be in the camp of people who believe Armstrong’s transcended sport and become a kind of positive force for good in the world, I’m also practical enough to realize many revolutionaries and great leaders are often assholes with decidedly checkered pasts. Mentally, I think most of us are prepared for the worst. All that really matters at this point is that any Armstrong blowback doesn’t hurt the bicycle industry as much as we’re all afraid it might.

The Strava Defense and Some Help for a Friend

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Jun 202012
 

You know you’re tired when you’ve just moved into a very nice home and this is what’s making you happy:

  1. a carabiner works as a bottle opener
  2. the couch you bought from the previous owners is big enough for you to sleep on

In fact, I’d like to sleep for a few days straight, but the unloading starts bright and early tomorrow. Have to say this place feels like home, though. If there was any doubt I’d picked the perfect place to live, the guy detailing his Saab while dressed like Elvis at the local Safeway here today put it all to rest. In Laughlintown, all the Elvis impersonators drive Fords. This is the Promised Land.

In the meantime, I just received an email from Strava about some updated terms and conditions they have. Whatever could that be all about? As much as I sympathize with the family of the cyclist killed trying to set a new Strava record, blaming Strava for pushing yourself on a bicycle makes about as much sense as suing Lance Armstrong because your heart exploded trying to match his time up Alpe d’Huez. For Armstrong, no doubt, such a lawsuit would be the best legal news he’ll receive this year, but the point is you can’t hold Strava accountable for shit you do on a bicycle.

Here’s an excerpt from the “don’t sue us” wording on their new Terms and Conditions page:

YOU EXPRESSLY AGREE THAT YOUR ATHLETIC ACTIVITIES, WHICH GENERATE THE CONTENT YOU POST OR SEEK TO POST ON THE SITE (INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO CYCLING) CARRY CERTAIN INHERENT AND SIGNIFICANT RISKS OF PROPERTY DAMAGE, BODILY INJURY OR DEATH AND THAT YOU VOLUNTARILY ASSUME ALL KNOWN AND UNKNOWN RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH THESE ACTIVITIES EVEN IF CAUSED IN WHOLE OR PART BY THE ACTION, INACTION OR NEGLIGENCE OF STRAVA OR BY THE ACTION, INACTION OR NEGLIGENCE OF OTHERS. YOU ALSO EXPRESSLY AGREE THAT STRAVA DOES NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE INSPECTION, SUPERVISION, PREPARATION, OR CONDUCT OF ANY RACE, CONTEST, GROUP RIDE OR EVENT THAT UTILIZES STRAVA’S SITE.

YOU EXPRESSLY AGREE TO RELEASE STRAVA, ITS SUBSIDIARIES, AFFILIATES, OFFICERS, AGENTS, REPRESENTATIVES, EMPLOYEES, PARTNERS AND LICENSORS (THE “RELEASED PARTIES”) FROM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY CONNECTED WITH YOUR ATHLETIC ACTIVITIES, AND PROMISE NOT TO SUE THE RELEASED PARTIES FOR ANY CLAIMS, ACTIONS, INJURIES, DAMAGES, OR LOSSES ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR ATHLETIC ACTIVITIES.”

That’s one hell of a “don’t look at us” statement, but it’s pretty clear that every bit of it should’ve been in there from the start (and maybe it was–nobody reads those things until something goes horribly wrong anyway). Are more people out there pushing themselves to set records because of Strava? Absolutely. It’s the social meets competitive element that’s distinguished Strava from the countless other mapping apps out there, but that’s what’s burning them here. We still live in a society saws need stickers to warn you they’re sharp, and the “Strava made me do it” argument may not be brushed off as easily as you’d think.

If things somehow don’t go Strava’s way with this, we can expect all hell to break loose among litigious types who didn’t realize some really dangerous shit they were doing was really dangerous. That includes riding a bicycle. They say you can drown in an inch of water, and sometimes all it takes to shuffle off this mortal coil is three beers and a skateboard, so I’m pulling for Strava here. I’m pretty sure their app drains most of the fun out of riding, but I support their right to let some people live in a perpetual state of one-upmanship if they choose to.

Mat Barton

I rarely have a “more serious note” in these posts, but my friend and co-worker Mat Barton was seriously injured in a short track race on June 11th here in Portland, and the current prognosis is that Mat will be permanently paralyzed from the chest down. If any of you are fortunate enough to have met Mat even briefly, he’s no doubt left an impression for his genuine enthusiasm–he’s a positive guy, and not in that cheesy self-help bullshit positive way common to people who secretly loathe themselves. Mat’s just an extremely nice guy, and he and his wife, Jessica, are hurting right now.

Mat’s a responsible guy and a gifted and successful graphic designer (most of what you’ll see on Cyclocross.com is the direct result of his work), but nothing prepares you for the changes Mat and Jessica are having to face right now. If you can at all spare even a small donation to help a fellow bike rider and his family, friends have created a PayPal donation site for Mat.

Thanks for reading. Time to go search the truck for a few more basic essentials. Plenty more bike news afoot right (including that sausage attack in Massachusetts), but it’ll have to wait until I get this move finished up entirely.

Badlands and Satan-proof Children

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Jun 192012
 

Having been without TV for the past three months, I’ve been completely out of touch with important world events. Miller Lite has some dumbass new can with a sort of breather hole to “improve pouring,” for instance. Clearly beer can technology has made strides while I was away. Still, why can no piss-beer company realize that what we really want is a can with both a breather hole and coldness indicator? Good to see bullshit marketing is still alive and well, though. I guess can technology makes as much sense as anything, though I still like Coors and Miller should just intentionally make their beer taste worse to go after the “ironic” market Pabst has cornered.

I spent last night in Pendleton, Oregon. After 2500 or so miles (only 250 or so to go). My arrival in Pendleton coincided, as it always seems to, with some sort of “toddler and tiaras” contest, which apparently draws people from across the nation. Also in town is what I believe to be a rodeo for people over the age of 70. At any rate, I was lucky to find a hotel room, even if the geriatric cowboy next door is snoring loud enough to vibrate the entire wall.

It’s a stark contrast to the domestic violence wake-up call I had in Joliet, Illinois. Here a dude negotiates with the police after he and his girlfriend decided to wake up the first floor of a Super 8 (and probably part of the second).

I’ve never understood why slamming a door more than once would ever be required. Either you’re leaving him/her or not. If you forgot your smokes, you can’t go back. It undermines the whole thing. To slam the hotel room door four or five times frankly suggests your heart’s just not in the breakup. Still, I’m far less afraid of this guy than I am a six-year-old wearing eye-shadow and a Snow White outfit.

Nebraska, meanwhile, looks like a painting of itself. It’s perfectly still and so uneventful you begin to wonder what’s wrong.

Periodically, though, Nebraska has its moments.

When the Romneys go MX racing, they always take their cat, Windburn.

Whereas Nebraska always tries to put me to sleep, Wyoming genuinely tried to kill me this time around. I have no idea how truckers survive crossing this state regularly. Since the domestication of the horse, let alone the invention of bicycles and automobiles, I can’t even understand how someone comes to live in southern Wyoming. Constant 50mph winds and a landscape that makes Mars look like a miniature golf course just seems uniquely inhospitable to me, but what do I know. I’ve lived in Pittsburgh, Chicago and even Atlanta. I have no room to talk.

Last night was spent at a Super 8 in Ogden, Utah, where the combination convenience store/inconvenient Denny’s restaurant included this display of books capable of “enriching my life.”

I came pretty close to purchasing, Satan, You Can’t Have My Children, but decided instead to one day publish the collected shit my kids say in a volume entitled Satan, You Can’t Handle My Children. Here’s the first entry. Happened the day before I starting my drive across the country.

Six year-old #1: (Apropos of nothing) Is “Friends” from France?

Six year-old #2: What friends? What do you mean?

Six year-old #1: You know, “Friends.”

Twelve year-old: Like the TV show?

Six year-old #1: (Relaxing in booster seat, eyes closed.) Yeah.

Dad: How do you know about “Friends”?

Six year-old #1: (Eyes still closed.) I watch it sometimes.

Twelve year-old: When have you ever watched “Friends”?

Six year-old: (Eyes still closed, but grinning.) I watch it with my friends.

Whatever’s so wrong with my kids, I have to admit I approve.

Minus a Brief Airbag Deployment, All Eyes Westward

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Jun 152012
 

Packed the hell out of the truck. In fact, spent the last 48-hours doing little more than stooping, lifting and carrying.

Well, and there was the head-on collision thing.

Somewhere in the top ten “Worst Phone Calls You Can Get” are these two:

  1. Your parents have been in an accident.
  2. Your child has been in an accident.

Last night, after a long day of packing and preparation for the cross-country relocation, we received a phone call that included both of those. Driving home with the boys after a day helping us pack, my parents were involved in an accident. The phone call came from my aunt. Near midnight, off I went, driving with that certain “no cop would stop me” disposition. Cresting the ridge near where my aunt said the accident had happened, I was hoping I didn’t drive past them, hoping I didn’t miss them.

Turns out it was pretty difficult to miss.

Fortunately, everyone was fine, though a little crop-dusted by air bag smoke. Still made for one hell of a conclusion to a long day.

Tomorrow, we start the drive back across the country.

Best Toilet Paper Dispenser Ever

 Bikes  2 Responses »
Jun 142012
 

image

Moved the last of the supplies out of the old Speedgoat building today, including the one-off Park toilet paper dispenser. That’s a one-inch King NoThreadet, red anodized custom crown machined by Paul Price, hand-cut stanchions with wooden inlay by Dan the Mechanic and an original Control Tech 1-inch stem for good measure. Did the ream and face myself on it. Took forever to properly face the pot metal on that thing, but it was done up to King code. Memories.

Freeform Bonnaroo Exploration

 Bikes  Comments Off on Freeform Bonnaroo Exploration
Jun 122012
 

Freeform Bonnaroo Exploration

So I’m on a plane headed back to Pittsburgh, but I noticed Interbike will move to Mandalay Bay in 2013. There are apparently reasons for this, and I’ll go ahead and take their word for it that it’ll be “more dynamic.” Apparently there’s a whole different Las Vegas two and a half miles up the Strip from the Sands. The advantage here is that we keep the show in Vegas (last time we were there a guy on a bicycle was chased down and driven over by an angry driver) while simultaneously adding a new level of inconvenience and relogisticating. It’s like a win-win situation, or something. Personally, I’m still hoping the move Crossvegas into a casino. Anything that makes that happen gets my vote.

While we’re on the subject of venues, I was relieved to hear Glenn Danzig went after a photographer at Bonnaroo. Looked like a miserable time anyway. Might was well try to punch somebody.

This video leaves us with more questions than it answers, though. Why are the Bonnaroo security guards all wearing florescent t-shirts with bandanas over their mouths? Is there some kind of George Michael/Suicidal Tendencies superband theme this year? Still more importantly, are Panama hats in fashion now?

I like music. I even like all kinds–I had no idea Jack Bruce and Vernon Reid were playing music together these days, and that would be an incredible thing to witness live–but these festival concerts always look like such a miserable time. That’s not entirely true. They look like a great time for people who want to say they were there, but a miserable place to hear a band. My personal belief is that Glenn was just hoping to punch a photographer in the face to improve the overall acoustics of that circus tent.

Seriously? If I told them once, I told them a hundred times, put Danzig Legacy first, then Puppet Show.

Not one person there seemed even dimly aware that he or she was at a Danzig show–almost sort-of a Samhain and Misfits show–so there’s also the possibility Glenn was just bored.

Me, I defend both the right to photograph Glenn Danzig buying kitty litter and the right of Glenn Danzig to punch you in the face, so I guess I’m leaning Libertarian on this one.

The irony of course–and if I were Glenn’s cat, I’d tell him this–is that if you don’t like people taking pictures of you, you probably shouldn’t leave the stage to go after some dumbass, because that’s exactly the kind of thing people like to photograph.

Especially guys in Panama hats, apparently.

Lost Weekends and Guess the Product

 Bikes, E-commerce  4 Responses »
Jun 112012
 

This is what Syncline trail would’ve looked like on Sunday. I’m pretty sure. Sadly, I spent most of the weekend working on a 2013 product catalog, writing copy for Cyclocross.com, and doing laundry. Had to get a head start on some office work I’ll need to leave hanging while I drive across the country again next week. So this is what Sunday looked like for me:

I’m a rockstar.

Yes, I have two monitors, which is actually pretty modest here. My goal is to eventually have six or seven. I’d like to be the Terry Bozzio of office hardware.

Needs More Cowbell, But Yes, He Plays Them All

On the monitor to my right you can see a little of Cyclocross.com, by the way. Can’t wait for the launch. Still a lot of work to do first, though, and before I can get back to it, there’s that whole driving across the country again thing. I love my country, but I hate driving across it. I always liked taking everyone’s word for it that Nebraska existed.

Starting tomorrow, I expect I’ll be back to posting shorter, “on the road” pieces, if I can post at all. Last time I did my best to lower everyone’s expectations and prepare you for even less meaningful content than usual, then proceeded to immediately punch a hole through the window of my Subaru with a Jones bike. I’ll have all my family’s possessions with me this time around, so imagine the damage I’ll be able to do.

Before I go near radio silence on you, I wanted to offer a report on the voting for best wheel size. “Banana” is definitely taking the win on this one (are you catching that, Google), but otherwise it’s a tight contest between 650b and 29er. I think we had two votes for 26″ wheels. Sadly now, they will be kicked off the island.

I’m also writing a lot of product descriptions for right now. As you might imagine, sometimes the product copy I write tends to be a little different, so I thought I might post some snippets of new content from Cyclocross.com up here, and see if anyone can guess what product–or even kind of product–I’m describing. So while I get ready to head to the airport, I’ll leave you with today’s product. See if you can guess the product I’m describing (or even figure out what the hell I’m talking about).

Cyclocross framesets divide themselves nicely into two categories. First there are the frames that really—truly—are only for cyclocross racing. These have a framebuilder’s name on the downtube, no water bottle bosses, and a fourteen month waiting period. And then there are the ‘cross racing frames one would grab in the event of zombie apocalypse, the kind with all the tire clearance and quality construction of a dedicated racing frameset, but with concessions for things like water bottles and fenders (because you do not want to be riding through zombie apocalypse streets without fenders). ______________ is a zombie apocalypse bike that can also race—and win—’cross races.”

I’m pretty sure both guys who read this blog work at bike companies or distributors anyway, but feel free to post any guesses on the Cyclocross.com Facebook page, and I’ll figure out some sort of grand prize for an eventual winner. Probably won’t be a Cyclocross.com jersey, but something rad.

The jerseys are in the works now, by the way, and are gonna look like something Steve McQueen would’ve worn to a Shia LaBeouf beating.

And why is it so tough to convince any custom jersey manufacturers to create a proper, moisture-wicking luchador mask?

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